When your situation is complicated and stressful, it may be the perfect time to consider making an adoption plan. When parenting seems like too big of a challenge and abortion is not a choice you want to regret, adoption needs to at least be considered.
Some ask: How could I ever give my baby away?
In adoption, a baby is not given away. The baby is given life, given a family, and given unconditional love. It’s true that you will give up some of your rights as a parent. But, it’s also true that you are giving your baby everything you can. In adoption, you can give your child the knowledge that she is wanted – first by you and by her adoptive family. You are giving your child a better future. Studies indicate that adopted children do better emotionally, academically, and economically than children in foster care or with biological parents who do not want to care for them.[1]
Some ask: Could I live without knowing how my baby is doing?
You don’t have to miss out. As a birth parent, you get to be in control of your adoption plan. You usually get to choose between three options: open, partially open, and confidential. If you choose an open or partially open adoption, you still get to be part of your child’s life. If you choose an open adoption, you get to choose your child’s family. You also get to communicate directly with them about your child through letters, pictures, and sometimes phone calls or visits. Your child will grow up knowing you. With a partially open adoption, you get to choose the family who will adopt your baby. You will learn about your child through pictures and letters that are shared with you. You will stay informed, but there’s no or minimum interaction.[2]
If you choose adoption, you may get some criticism. Some may say you are being too selfish. Some may say you are being too selfless. But, neither one of these judgements are correct. “A birthmother is neither selfish nor selfless. She is conscious of her long term goals and those of the child. She is mindful of what she is going to give for the rest of her life. She is aware of the consequences of choosing to place or parent. She prioritizes her needs and the needs of the child. She cares about herself and the needs of the child!” – Terra Cooper & Katelyn Shaw
Contact us if you want to talk to someone about adoption.
[1] https://aspe.hhs.gov/reports/adoption-usa-chartbook-based-2007-national-survey-adoptive-parents-0?id=24
[2] https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/birthfor